1. |
Lost
03:33
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Lost
I want to cry
but I can’t
I stare unblinking
Reptilian
Motionless
I want to touch
but I can’t
I lie in mortis
Granite
Helpless
I want to scream
but I can’t
My mouth is fixed
Frozen
Speechless
I remember your sobbing and despair
Your unkempt hair
Of how you wept for me
Of how you slept with me
And how Doctor Taylor shook his head
before drawing the winding sheet
I heard everything
The hush toned sympathy
The whisperings of comfort
And your constant sorrow
I remember the coin
placed with reverence beneath my tongue
but felt nothing
I remember the panic
as the lid was fixed to my casket
and my darkness doubled
Nine nails to seal my destiny
Six more than the Christ
but I would not be returning
I can hear the clatter of hooves on hard cobbles
but not the procession
in silent weeping
I want to cry
but I can’t
I stare resigned
Barren
Hopeless
I want to pray
but I can’t
I lie in torture
Broken
Godless
I want to live
but I can’t
My fate is written
I am abandoned
I am lost.
Charles Antony
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2. |
The shipping forecast
03:55
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The Shipping Forecast
She always waited
for the shipping forecast
Faeroes, Fair Isle, Viking
Hoping that one day
he would return
Cromarty, Forth, Tyne, Dogger
Hoping
Hoping one day
that the tide would turn
and carry him home
Forties, Fisher, German Bite, Humber
She was eager to share
Share her good news
Thames, Dover, Wight, Portland, Plymouth
But he was still missing
Missing from the world
Missing from her
Biscay, Trafalgar, FitzRoy
The other boats had returned
Returned safe to harbor
But his had not
Sole, Fastnet, Lundy, Irish Sea, Shannon
She always waited
for the shipping forecast
Rockall, Malin, Hebrides
Shedding tears
as her belly grew
Shedding tears
as her heart shrank
Bailey, South East Iceland
Hoping one day
that the tide would turn
and carry him home.
Charles Antony
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3. |
The dreaming chair
03:07
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The Dreaming Chair
Lover take note
Lover beware
Don’t go falling asleep
in the dreaming chair
For the spirits of witches
cast out in to ditches
reside in the fabric
of the dreaming chair
Lover take heed
Defy if you dare
You’ll never wake up
from the dreaming chair
For the touch of her skin
may beckon you in
and lead you to shadow
in the dreaming chair
Lover be warned
of the witches’ snare
Don’t go closing your eyes
in the dreaming chair
Her warming caress
is tempting I guess
But will all end in tears
in the dreaming chair
Lover wake up
Lover despair
You have fallen asleep
in the dreaming chair
for you have been led
down the path of the dead
consumed by the spirit
of the dreaming chair
Charles Antony
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4. |
The golden notebook
02:47
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The Golden Notebook
She wrote the first line
in her golden notebook
a present for her sixteenth birthday
thanking her mother for the gift
and her joy of moving from
childhood to adulthood
She wrote the second line
a week later
after seeing strange lights
in the sky above her house
and the faint buzzing sound
that she felt rather than heard
She wrote the third line
a week after that
concerned about the tall man
staring up at her window
dressed in black and wearing sunglasses
even though it was night-time
She wrote the fourth line
a day later
describing her strange dreams
and the sensation of floating
with wires taped to her body
in a pink mist
The fifth line
remains unwritten
In a scorched area
of the forest
The police found her clothes
neatly folded
with the golden notebook on top.
Charles Antony
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5. |
Just a whisper
03:33
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Just a Whisper
Just a whisper
The faintest whisper
In your bedroom
with the headphones
playing Tubular Bells
over and over and over
scribbling teenage songs
of love and angst
You never wanted to
change the world
And rest assured
You never will
Just a whisper
The faintest whisper
Those shadows you see
are really ghosts
They will always haunt you
They will always be with you
You will love
and be loved
You will lose
You will be lost
And rest assured
You will write about it
Just a whisper
The faintest whisper
Don’t smoke menthol cigarettes
or eat mild cheese
Yellow snow doesn’t taste so good
Don’t have regrets
Guilt will kill you
Always retain your integrity
Give help when needed
Ask for help when desired
And rest assured
You will need it.
Charles Antony
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6. |
See you
02:31
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7. |
Shadows
02:21
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Shadows
Yesterday
I cleaned beneath my bed
to remove
the shadows that haunt my sleep
Shadows where the monsters hide
Shadows where the dead walk freely
Shadows where the fear can thrive
Fear that feeds the insecurity
and low esteem
that trembles in the daylight
but continues to lurk
in the shadows
beneath my bed
Fear that feeds the loneliness
and frustration
that can fracture the heart
but continues to lurk
in the shadows
beneath my bed.
Charles Antony
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8. |
The prisoner
03:31
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The Prisoner
I know that he is watching me
I know exactly what he is thinking
Chained to a melting time, that constant drips
Still aching from the latest beating
He wants to see me lick the plate like an animal
and scream at the broken glass hidden in the watery broth
If I try to sleep
He will explode through the door
wildly thrashing and kicking like a madman.
I know that he is watching me
I know exactly what he is thinking
A shaft of sunlight
A finger of hope
illumines the cell
just out of reach
I want to thrust my head into the warmth
and taste God again
I know that he is watching me
I know exactly what he is thinking
At sunset, as the breath of God turns to blood
The gaoler will enter the cell, quietly now
Unlock my chains and hand me the keys
I will fasten him to the wall
and beat him senseless.
I will sit outside watching him by the light of the moon
waiting for him to lick the plate like an animal
and scream at the broken glass in the watery broth
If he tries to sleep
I will explode through the door
wildly thrashing and kicking like a madman.
He knows that I am watching him
and exactly what I am thinking.
Charles Antony
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9. |
Yellow
02:59
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Yellow
The yellow sun
on yellow land
The sound of lovers
in the sand
Yellow lotion
smeared on skin
Yellow ice cream
down the chin
Yellow boats
speed on by
banana shaped
and screaming cry
Yellow lager
Plastic beakers
Yellow trunks
and yellow sneakers
Yellow sun hats
Yellow dresses
Lipstick smiles
and sweet caresses
Radios thick
with Spanish tunes
Excitement mounts
amongst the dunes
A yellow plastic bag
floats by
I must ignore
and close my eye
Yellow puke
and yellow piss
Can I take
much more of this
Yellow sun
and yellow cheer
Missing you
Wish you were here.
Charles Antony
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10. |
Small fish
02:09
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Small Fish
His life was based on a true story
Not his own, of course
Always a small fish
in a big pond
The pendulum swayed above him
in the sealight
Love me
Trust me
Love me
Taste me
Aware of the consequences
As his bruised lips would testify
He swam towards it anyway
Knowing that he was far too small
to fill anyone’s belly
He liked his short time
in different light
on the deck of the boat
with the bigger fish.
Away from his emotional heart
He would whisper stories
Of loss
Of pain
Of joy
to anyone who would listen
hoping that the tales would live
after he had gone
Eventually he would be picked up
and the hook removed
Sometimes with care
but mainly with venom
before being cast back
to chase inspiration
amongst the coral
in the Sea of Emotion
For he was indeed
a small fish
in a very large pond.
Charles Antony
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11. |
The guest
02:47
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The Guest
Tonight, be welcome guest
Take all that you desire
Come warm your wings
by the roaring of the fire
Sit yourself beside me
to bask within your light
and soothe away the shadows
on this O darkest night.
Tonight be welcome guest
Take all that you require
Come tell me stories
that your actions did inspire
Sit yourself beside me
Lay your sword upon the floor
Be safe here for a short while
Leave your troubles at the door.
Tonight be welcome guest
Take all that you admire
Come rest your weary limbs
by the embers of the fire
Sit yourself beside me
before the morning light
and soothe away the shadows
on this O darkest night.
Charles Antony
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